Scandal of Grace

Lately, I’ve been reflecting on the fact that Jesus was a 100% human and 100% God. OF COURSE this can be hard to wrap our minds around because this is beyond our human understanding. I think something we often forget is the fact that Jesus was 100% human. He performs so many divine miracles that we forget that he was also just like us. Things that hurt us, hurt him. And in that light, the crucifixion story is a whole lot harder to hear. It’s hard to hear that Jesus had to suffer such an endearing pain for us. And today, we remember that. We remember the human pain Jesus suffered on the cross. The fact that Jesus was fully human truly changes everything. It means we have a God who understands our pain. 

“The day and it’s troubles shall come
I know that Your strength is enough
The scandal of grace
You died in my place
So my soul will live”

What to Do When You Don’t Know What to Do

Last night I watched the movie “Soul”. Ever since it came out, I have heard about how great of a message it has to communicate to those watching it. I won’t spoil anything in case you haven’t watched it but let me tell you… it has such an important message for all of us to hear. One of the main things that struck me was the overarching storyline of one of the main characters named 22. You see, 22 struggles to find a purpose in life. She feels as if she doesn’t have a purpose. She’s confused on what she’s supposed to do, and all throughout the movie, it makes her feel worthless. And honestly, sometimes (maybe even a little more than sometimes) we feel the same exact way. That’s why this movie is SO good. It’s very relatable to our feelings throughout our journey of life. When approaching our future, we don’t know what to do. When facing a tough situation, we don’t know what to do. When approaching God, sometimes we don’t know what to do or what to say. Let’s admit it, there are times when we just don’t know what to do.

So what do we do when we don’t know what to do? Lately, we’ve been leading a small group study with some of our youth students that reflects on this question. As we discussed this topic, I realized that I was learning so many things that I wanted to begin implementing into my life. Lately, there have been many aspects of my life that have had me questioning what to do. I have found myself questioning my abilities which, ultimately, have me questioning God’s purpose for my life. I also have been facing everyday hardships that find me wondering what to do. Life is often full of many questions, and I think this question of what to do in difficult situations is one we face daily. We’re always expected to make decisions. We have pressure to do the right thing. We’re expected to care for ourselves. We want to be there for others. We have so many things to take into account constantly, and it can be taxing. It is difficult to decide what to do when we don’t know what to do.

Although it’s difficult, we cannot just run away from tough situations or hard questions. That isn’t how life works… which means we have to have an action plan.

First of all, life’s weight becomes a little bit lighter when we communicate with God. An important idea to always remember with this is that everyone most effectively communicates with God in their own ways. Some people may communicate with God best by sitting and reading Scripture. Some people may connect by putting in their earbuds and listening to worship music. Some people may connect best by simply sitting in silence and waiting for God to speak to them. We need to find the way or multiple ways that we can best feel God’s presence. Now, don’t get me wrong. I believe we should be communicating in all of these ways. But if you see a person really connecting with God in one way, and you don’t necessarily connect in that way, it’s okay. The beautiful part of creation is that we are all different. We are all made to connect in different ways. However, for all of us, when we don’t know what to do, our first step should always be to communicate with God. God doesn’t intend for us to figure everything out on our own. As humans, we are made to be dependent on God. If we leave God’s answer out of the picture when trying to figure out what we are supposed to do, we could end up lost and unsure of where we went wrong.

One more thing about communicating with God – quit trying to communicate in the most perfect way. What I mean by this is that we often come up with these elaborate prayers that we think may make us seem more “holy.” We sugar coat the things we are facing when talking to God because we are afraid to bring our raw, authentic selves. Communication with God is simply a conversation. A good relationship is not fulfilled by hiding the bad parts of ourselves. A good relationship comes about when we bring the good and bad and accept one another as we are. I promise that God loves and accepts you as you are. When we don’t know what to do, we need to bring the hard things and simply talk to God. In those moments, we truly allow our hearts to be open to what God has for us.

Secondly, when we don’t know what to do, we need to pursue peace. Now, I actually can’t take credit for this one. This was in our small group curriculum for this series, but I believe it is SO GOOD. Many of our conflicts come from tough situations or relationships that leave us wondering what we are supposed to do. But our ultimate goal should always be to pursue peace in those places. Pursuing peace can look different depending on the situation.

  1. Sometimes pursuing peace is simply finding ways to have grace for ourselves. We sometimes can be quick to forgive others but not quick to forgive ourselves. This will not lead to a sense of peace within our hearts. In fact, this will only lead to turmoil within ourselves. It’ll make it much harder for us to face the situations and conflicts that we are facing in that moment.
  2. Sometimes pursuing peace is forgiving others. This is one of those things that is way easier said than done. It is hard to let go of a grudge when you are hurt. I have seen so many people within my lifetime that have had trouble offering someone forgiveness because of the awful things a person has done to them. However, my advice to them would be to talk to God about their struggle to forgive. Pray for the person who wronged you. In saying that, you don’t necessarily have to let them back into your life. You can care, love and forgive at a distance. In order to best care for ourselves, sometimes this is the wise thing to do.
  3. Often times, pursuing peace means finding ways to enjoy the situation we are in, despite the hardships. School can be hard. Work can be hard. Many things in life can be hard. But when we pursue peace, we can find peace within the chaos. Don’t let the stress, worry, or thoughts that we aren’t good enough take control. We will most likely all experience these feelings within our lives, but in pursuing peace, we choose to restrict these feelings from completely dominating. We allow ourselves to rest on the promise from God that worrying will not make anything better and that we are truly made in the image of God. It doesn’t mean the chaos will subside. But it does mean that we may be able to start seeing life as beautiful as it is, even in the midst of chaos.

Jesus is the perfect example of living out what we should do when we don’t know what to do. Jesus was always in communication with God and was always finding creative ways in which he could pursue peace. The high priests in Jesus’ time constantly put Jesus difficult situations. They’d find ways to try to manipulate Him into saying the wrong things and were determined that His ministry would not succeed. They wanted to stop Jesus in his tracks and prove that He wasn’t really the Son of God. While this would have been very frustrating for Jesus, He was always in tune with God and always able to forgive those who wronged Him. He was pursuing peace in the chaos. If we ever have a hard time figuring out how we should face a situation, Jesus is someone we can always read about to find the answer. Even though we aren’t always going to handle things perfectly as Jesus did, we can strive to live our lives by the example of Christ.

There are going to be many times in your life where you don’t know what to do. However, when you are faced with this kind of situation and pondering the question of what to do, I hope that you open the door to communicate with God and choose the pursuit of peace. God is always standing right in front of you with an outstretched hand just waiting for you to take it. God already knows your heart but still wants you to communicate anyways, so that God may lead you to be the person you’re called to be.

14 Therefore, since we have a great high priest who has ascended into heaven, Jesus the Son of God, let us hold firmly to the faith we profess. 15 For we do not have a high priest who is unable to empathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are—yet he did not sin. 16 Let us then approach God’s throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need. – Hebrews 4:14-16

Do You Live for the Journey or the Destination?

One of my favorite classes this year is Celtic Christianity. In this class, we get to learn all about Christianity in Ireland, and it is so fascinating. I love seeing how other cultures come together to worship God. But this sect of Christianity has really made an impact on me. You see, Celtic Christians have carried out their faith in such unique ways over the years. We often learn in this class how these Christians would take pilgrimages and journeys in order to grow their faith. In these pilgrimages, they would leave everything behind to go on a journey in nature and spend time alone with God. This was a way for them to walk hand-in-hand with God. I mean, what a way to grow in your relationship with God! We were discussing this idea of journeys in class the other day when our professor asked a question that has remained with me ever since. She asked, “Do you feel as if you are focused on the journey or on the destination in your life?”

I’m going to be completely honest with you all. I am a destination-driven person. In volleyball practice, I was focused on getting home and going to bed. All throughout high school, I was focused on college. In college, I’ve remained focused on what my life will look like once I’ve graduated. I am EXTREMELY destination-focused. While it’s good that I’m always looking forward to what the future brings, it is also causing me to miss out on the current moment. Our journey is important. If we’re always consumed in the destination, we will miss out on what God has for us in the journey there.

Lately, for my youth students, we’ve been doing a Monthly Bible Reading Challenge. Each month, we have them read one book of the Bible while giving them a detailed schedule of what they are to read each week. Then, us leaders post a video every week that pretty much sums up all of what they read. This past week, we had them read a few chapter from Matthew. Everything we had them read was at the heart of Jesus’ ministry. As I was reading these chapters, I was still reflecting over this idea of journeys and destinations. And I just kept thinking about how Jesus demonstrated this idea perfectly. You see, Jesus’ journey wasn’t perfect. He faced hate, persecution and people that whole-heartedly believed he was a fraud. But he took each and every moment to glorify God. When he was in the desert for forty days and forty nights without food, there wasn’t once we heard him say, “I’m so ready for this to be over.” It was a part of his journey, and he embraced it. Yet, Jesus was also focused on the destination. He was constantly preparing for the day when he could save this broken world he was living in. He was probably also a little intimidated by what the destination would bring, but he put his full trust in God.

After lots of reflecting, I believe that Jesus’ ministry teaches us three key factors in the battle between journeys and destinations.

First of all, his ministry teaches us to embrace the moment that you are in right now. There are going to be times in your life where you may feel as if you have been in the desert for forty days and forty nights, as Jesus was. I’ve been there, and I will probably be there many more times throughout my lifetime. But that doesn’t mean that we can’t still embrace it. Instead of letting it destroy you, let it be a time of growth. The thing about journeys is that they get really hard at times. When journeys become difficult, it is easy to switch our focus to the destination. However, let me offer you another perspective. Often times, when we look back on a difficult time in life, we can see where we have grown. Whether or not we realize it, we grow within our journeys. So we should embrace them, even when they’re hard. You may be going through a really difficult semester of school. Embrace the knowledge that you are gaining. You may have just lost of loved one. Embrace the love and comfort that Jesus provides to you. You may be struggling in your relationships. Embrace the lessons that will be learned on how to face relationship issues in the future. The journey of life wasn’t meant to be easy. Those Celtic Christians probably faced many difficult times within their journey; however, the whole point of their pilgrimage was to do it all with God. They embraced the difficult and put their trust in the God that they knew would always be by their side.

Secondly, Jesus’ ministry tells us that the destination is going to bring troubles of its own. He knew what his destination was going to bring. He knew that it would change the whole trajectory of our lives, but he also knew it would cause him an enormous amount of pain. Unlike Jesus, we don’t know what our destination entails, even as much as we like to think we do. The destination may look wonderful right now, but we need to be honest with ourselves. We never know what life is going to bring. Our future might be headed in one direction for a second and then go a complete different direction the next second. We are setting ourselves up for disappointment by only being people set on the destination. For example, going into college, I had expectations of what all it would entail when, in fact, it was completely different than what I had expected. So why live from destination to destination? We should just enjoy the moment we’re in. We need to quit acting like we know what tomorrow is going to bring. Matthew 6:34 says, “Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.” Tomorrow will bring it’s own troubles. Just focus on the journey you’re on right now.

Thirdly, even though we need to enjoy our journey, we can look forward to the destination. I spent the whole last point telling you how important the journey is, but that doesn’t mean we can’t look forward to our destination. Throughout Jesus’ ministry, he focused on the journey. He healed people. He taught people. He loved each and every person he encountered. But he was also getting ready for the day where he would be able to save all people from their sins. He always had the destination in mind, and throughout his life, he was preparing for it. It’s good for us to work towards our destination, but we don’t need to get too caught up in our destination to where we’re distraught if it doesn’t go as we had planned. A good balance between the two will help us to be more content within our walk of life and our walk of faith. A good balance will allow us to enjoy the current moment, work hard for our future, and be okay when everything doesn’t go the way we planned.

I really want you to reflect on your life right now. Are you always set on the destination or are you often focused on the journey? Or do you feel like you are both destination AND journey focused? This balance in our lives is way bigger than one might think. Depending on what you are focused on truly does change everything. In that case, we want to be focused on the things in life that bring us closer to God and closer to having true joy embedded within us.

Food for thought – maybe if we weren’t always completely focused on the destination, we would take more time to feed our spirit. Maybe we would take more time to spend with our Creator.

Let’s take this journey together.

 For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope. – Jeremiah 29:11

All to You I Surrender

A couple of weeks ago, I had to get a little, tiny procedure done. BUT you wouldn’t have known it was a little, tiny procedure if you would’ve seen me around that time. I was terrified. If this gives you any context, my parents once had to trick me with ice cream in order to make me get a shot. Anything medical-related is terrifying to me. It’s by far one of my weaknesses. I get overly fearful. But going into 2021, I designated the word “surrender” to be my word for the year. I’ve really grown on this idea of choosing a word for each year because it gives me an opportunity to grow in an area that needs growth. “Surrender” has such a powerful meaning, but the more and more I reflected on 2020, the more I realized that I really wasn’t putting that word into action. I wasn’t surrendering to God. I wasn’t surrendering being wrong in arguments. I wasn’t surrendering to what I needed for my health. So this tiny, little procedure was my first step towards surrender. I was surrendering to what my body needed, even though I was terrified. But let’s be honest, surrendering can be kind of terrifying, but that doesn’t make it any less worth it.

I’m just going to cut right to the chase. If you aren’t willing to surrender, you are going to struggle in many aspects of life. I want you to think of a time in your life where you held on to something. Maybe it was a grudge towards someone. Maybe it was fear. Maybe it was a very bad memory. Maybe it was regret. Whatever you may have been holding on to in that moment, it probably created a struggle within you. It probably consumed you. But that’s not surprising because that is what happens when we choose not to surrender.

I’ve always hated the phrase “God will only give you what you can handle”. Before everyone thinks I’m crazy and stops reading, let me explain. This phrase is assuming that we can take on anything that is given to us in life without God. It’s pretty much saying “If God has given it to you, you can handle it on your own”. Not to be the bearer of bad news, but that’s not true. As much as we’d love to think we can handle whatever life throws at us, it’s not true… without God. Surrender is NECESSARY for us to be able to handle life’s ups and downs. We have to surrender to what God has given to us in order that we are able to handle it. We cannot handle it all on our own. It will only lead us to a lonely dead end. And I don’t know about you, but I’ve ended up at that dead end more than once in my life. And it’s because I’ve tried to handle all of what life had thrown at me on my own. We’re not designed in that way. We aren’t made to do it all by ourselves. And that’s such a good thing. We have the opportunity to be dependent upon the Creator of the world. I think that’s pretty cool. So let’s start doing a little more surrendering to our God.

This idea of surrender brings me to a story in the Bible. It’s the story of Jacob and Esau. These were the sons of Isaac. If you haven’t heard the story, long-story-short, Jacob takes both Esau’s birthright and his blessing. Both of which are a huge deal. The birthright is a right to all the inheritance of one’s parents. It is always given to the first-born son, which was Esau. And a blessing from God is obviously important. And it’s very important to note the way that Jacob took Esau’s blessing. He was able to trick his father into giving him the blessing since his father was blind. He simply acted as if he was Esau. When Esau found out that Jacob had done this, he was enraged. And for fear of the wrath of Esau, Jacob ran. He left the situation and didn’t look back. However, years later, Esau was ready to make amends with his brother. When Esau saw Jacob again, he ran and embraced him with a hug. It’s as if he forgot about all the issues. He let go of them because he found his relationship with his brother to be more important. He surrendered his harsh feelings that he held towards his brother. Wow! Does that not just embody all of what it means to surrender? Jacob did terrible things to Esau, but Esau chose to surrender his grudge. If Esau would’ve hung on to all of that hatred, he would’ve been miserable. He would’ve been consumed in negativity. Surrender is a choice. I know it may be hard to think of surrendering a grudge you have towards someone. You may validate your decision to keep holding on to that grudge because of how they wronged you. But in the end, you are only doing more harm to yourself.

I’d like to share with you all a couple of ways that I feel surrender benefits us. First of all, as I said above, you are only doing more harm to yourself by holding on. So by surrendering, we are releasing tension. As people that are a part of this crazy world, I think we can all go for some tension releasing. So knowing that we could have so much more peace through surrendering, why don’t we do it?? Why don’t we just surrender everything? That’s because surrender usually presents itself as the hard path in two given paths. We can either not acknowledge our issues (easy path) or acknowledge them and give up our right to hold on to them (hard path). And as humans we don’t like to let go of our baggage. It makes us uncomfortable to think of letting it go. But when we surrender the temporary things that burden us, we are allowing our heart and mind to be free of a weight. I’ve had my fair share of people in life that I have let put a burden on my soul. I had so much baggage in those relationships that for years I carried on my shoulders. I told myself I wasn’t carrying all of the hurt and pain those relationships caused, but in reality, I was just trying to mask the fact that I wasn’t letting go. When I finally made the choice to surrender all the hurt, guilt, and pain, there was so much tension released in my being.

I’ve been taking vocal lessons for many years now, and through all my years, there is one thing that has remained consistent. I hate singing high. The idea of singing high has always freaked me out, and I’m not afraid to admit it. But the funny thing about this is that I’ve never been able to hide this dislike for singing high. If you look closely at me while singing high (I’m really exposing myself here), you’ll notice that I tense up REALLY BADLY. The other day in my vocal lesson, my vocal teacher caught me lifting/tensing my shoulders and called me out on it. I immediately realized he was right and tried to fix it. So then we took our next go at the same high part of the song. And then we stopped again because guess what I was doing? Tensing again. But we thought it was hilarious that instead of tensing in my shoulders, I moved it to another part of my body. While I was singing, he apparently noticed that a vein popped out in my neck which meant that I moved the tension right up to my neck. It’s insane the amount of ways I have found to build tension in my body while singing high.

But this is a perfect example of what we do in our own lives. Things make us uncomfortable, and instead of surrendering them to God, we find some place to store the tension. The thing about keeping this tension while I’m singing is that it never produces a good sound. Keeping tension within us never produces anything good. Think about getting anything medically done. They always tell you to quit tensing because that only makes the pain worse. Keeping negativity, worry, anxiety, fear, grudges, along with all the other things we build up within us, only makes things worse. In no way, shape or form will this tension solve anything. That’s why surrender is NECESSARY and will only benefit our lives. Surrender allows us to live our lives free of this tension. It allows us to be more loving and joyful in the lives God has given us.

Lastly, surrender enables us to grow. If you aren’t willing to surrender, you aren’t going to grow. A flower can’t grow without surrendering to the nature around it. The beautiful thing about flowers is that they weren’t designed to fight surrender, so they are a perfect example of how we should live. They are always allowing God to pour into their lives through sunlight and water. That’s how they live. They can’t live on their own. Their lives are completely dependent on God. The thing about flowers is that they are constantly allowing themselves to be taken care of. They don’t deny the necessities they need. We, unfortunately, aren’t naturally built like this. We let life get in the way of caring for ourselves. We say we have too much homework to read the Bible. We have too much work to give ourselves a break. We are too tired to enjoy life. We are constantly trying to meet unrealistic expectations. Sometimes that literally means that we don’t give ourselves enough food to eat. We work out too much or too little. We don’t give ourselves enough sleep because there’s too much to get done. We don’t allow ourselves to be the authentic individuals that we are. We don’t give ourselves permission to laugh and be joyful. We fight surrender.

When we don’t fight it, we’ll grow in more ways than one. By surrendering, we have given ourselves the opportunity to be more authentic in our faith, our relationships and in every other aspect of our lives. Surrender allows us to grow to be the person that God calls us to be.

Take this journey with me. Let’s choose surrender.

“I appeal to you therefore, brothers and sisters, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is your spiritual worship.” – Romans 12:1

2020… a year that has made me better than who I was before

JD and I went on our two-year date last week. That’s literally insane! It seems like time has been flying by in my life recently. But anyways, we always do this fun thing for our yearly dates where he blindfolds me and takes me to different surprise destinations. This year we went to our favorite place to eat (Nhinja yummm), ice skating & then to see Christmas lights! It was great. As we were ice skating (well while he was skating and I was falling), I felt a sense of joy seeing everybody out having a good time. Children were laughing and practically just walking on the ice with their skate helpers. People were flying by JD and I, and others were slowly making their way around the circle holding the wall for dear life. But one group of people stood out to me. There was a group of teenagers all gathered in a circle on their phones. They would take pictures and then all stare at their phone screens. This honestly was the way it was the entire time we were there. They talked to one another, but the attention was always truly on their phone. If I were to guess, I assume they probably were posting the pictures they had taken on social media. While there is nothing wrong with that, it made me kind of sad. Because instead of enjoying the moment that they were in, they were consumed in something other than the reality surrounding them.

But isn’t it nice to escape this reality? This world has blown up this year. I’ll say it a million times over again that I’m not the same person I used to be before this pandemic. It’s as if my eyes have been open to all the hurt, pain and struggles present in this world. And I don’t always know what to do with all of these feelings. This year has been a year I never expected to experience. I specifically remember a year ago from today thinking, “Tomorrow starts the best year yet. I can feel it.” And as I was dancing with my friends in downtown OKC as the clock turned to 12:00 A.M., I felt excitement. I was genuinely happy and eager to see what 2020 had in store. And then before I knew it, everything just seemed to fall apart. First of all, let’s just talk about the uncertainty. I hate uncertainty, and I think we can all say that each day this year has been packed FULL of it. While the uncertainty has been terrible, I think I can say for many of us, the worst of it all has been the loss. The death, the sickness and the unexpectedness of it all feels like a deep, sharp pain. We, ourselves, and the people around us are struggling mentally. People are fighting depression and loneliness. It’s pretty easy to say that an escape from this reality wouldn’t be the worst thing ever.

I found myself trying to escape reality more than ever this year. Things would get hard, and I would play the distraction card. Whether that be getting on social media, trying to just push the hurt deep into an untouched part of my mind or binge-watching a Netflix show, I would find ways to escape my reality. I didn’t like the idea of addressing all that was going on in the world. But I will say this. In escaping my reality, I didn’t focus on the good that was present within my life. I just tried to numb it all by not thinking about really anything. In fact, I feel that I lost sight of all I had to be thankful for in my life. I was consumed in nothing but negativity.

This year, I almost forgot about the blessing of life. Life is packed full of low valleys and high mountaintops. The blessing of life is not only found in the high mountaintops but also in the low valleys. And you know what? THANK GOODNESS for that truth. Who would you be right now if we took away all those times that you’ve been in the valley? I wouldn’t be near the person I am today. I wouldn’t have any sort of perseverance. Any sort of thing that goes unplanned would leave me broken. But not only would I lack perseverance, I also may not have made as many mistakes. Because in the valley, you will most likely mess up, but you have the opportunity to come out even better. I don’t know who I’d be without 2020, and you know what? I don’t want to find out. I have decided that I’m going to accept this year as a part of life that has made me better than I was before. And part of this blessing of life is that God is not only with us in the good times but also in the really really sucky times. If you were like me in this past year, you forgot that. There were a few times I literally remember thinking that I would go to God once I fixed myself. I would go once the hardships weren’t consuming me as much. But my friends, God was with me in those times. I may have turned down God’s loving hand, but that doesn’t mean God ever left my side. God is ALWAYS with us. What a blessing of life. God didn’t leave you to face 2020 on your own. Maybe you chose to push Him away, but God never stopped being with you. That moment when you lost someone who meant the world to you, God was with you while the tears were rolling down your face. That moment when your depression was all-consuming, God was with you as you wondered how you’d keep going. God never left (even in 2020) and never will.

Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,
    I will fear no evil,
for you are with me;
    your rod and your staff,
    they comfort me. – Psalm 23:4

I think many people misinterpret the saying “God is with you” as something that Christians just say. But these four words are powerful. They remind us that God’s love for us is unconditional. Some of you all may not have anyone in your life who has always been “with” you so it’s hard to imagine this kind of love. But it’s real and powerful. Some people in your life will leave you when things get hard, but God never will.

You know what else I learned this year? The world doesn’t revolve around me. Throwing a pity party every second of every day isn’t going to fix my problems. Yes. 2020 was hard. Yes. Life is hard. But do you really want to spend life always feeling sorry for yourself? Now, don’t get me wrong. There are times we need to give ourselves time to be sad. But sometimes we need to get out of ourselves in order to care for ourselves. I was not the only one who had a hard 2020. Many people did. And many of the people lost people who meant the world to them. Yet, a lot of times, it makes us feel better to believe in the notion that we’re the only ones that have it bad. This year I was constantly wallowing in all the sorrow I had in all of my situations. But you know what I realized? That didn’t solve anything. It actually made things a whole lot worse. It made me more bitter towards people and unwilling to love. It also pushed me farther away from my relationship with God. Instead of spending genuine time with God and being thankful for all He has given me, I only complained about my situations. All the concentration was on myself and not on my relationship with God at all. When we concentrate on only ourselves and our bad situations, we forget how to love others and even love ourselves.

In escaping the reality of 2020, these lessons would not have been learned. These lessons may not have come from the easiest experiences, but sometimes the hardest times yield the most promising lessons. My biggest challenges for you all in 2021 is to not try to escape to another reality. Don’t run to your phone when things get tough. Don’t binge-watch a show to numb the pain. Accept what you’re feeling and try to grow. Accept the low valleys that come your way. Enjoy the high mountaintops. And have joy in both the valleys and mountaintops. When joy is rooted in you, it persists even in the darkest times. I can’t tell you what 2021 is going to bring. Do I hope it’s better? Yes. But let’s not go in with the expectation that everything is going to be solved and all better. 2021 will bring its own challenges. Let’s go in with the notion that both hard times and good times will come. But through it all, we can know our God will be with us, we’re not alone in our situation and there is no need to escape the reality we are in right now. This is where you’re supposed to be even if it’s not where you saw yourself being. 2021 we’re coming for you stronger than ever before!!

 “Not only that, but we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance,  and endurance produces character, and character produces hope” – Romans 5: 3-4

Better Not Bitter

Bitterness comes to steal our joy. It comes to steal our lives and even who we are as a person. Bitterness also seems to come at the most inconvenient times. It comes in the moments when we need joy most in our lives. I’ve never been a very bitter person. I have always been one that has been able to overlook the bad going on around me and focus on the good. However, this year I’ve found myself consumed in bitterness. I’ve been bitter about the pandemic, the division caused by the election, and so much more. This bitterness has brought out parts of me that have made me ashamed. I’ve been more jealous. I always see the cup half empty. And I’ve been angry. Yes, there are parts of our lives that we are going to get upset about, but this anger has entered a new level. It consumes me. And I’m sure I’m not the only one. This year has brought out the worst in a lot of us. This year has left us feeling bitter.

A definition of bitterness from the Oxford Dictionary is “anger and disappointment at being treated unfairly; resentment.” You could say that this year has left us feeling as if our lives are unfair. And on top of the worldly problems are our own problems. It’s easy to get to a place where we are disappointed in our own situations. Eventually we begin falling into resentment. We resent our situations and the unfair treatment. All of this builds and builds until we are bitter. The best way for me to describe bitterness is like a child’s tantrum. It can start out over something small that didn’t go our way. And then it can build into anger/resentment (the screaming and crying) which leads to a really bad mood. Except unlike a child having a tantrum, this “bad mood” lingers for days in our lives. This “bad mood” leaves us feeling ungrateful of our lives and bitter towards the people who treat us wrong.

The concept of bitterness could not relate more to the life of Naomi whose name literally became known as “bitter.” Naomi lost almost everyone in her life. She lost her husband and her two sons, leaving her only two daughters-in-law. All of her losses seemed to be unfair. She resented those losses and her life. I mean who wouldn’t? She lost the people that were closest to her. Her daughters-in-law insisted on staying with her because they loved Naomi. This would’ve been unheard of in this time. The normal thing for these daughters-in-law to do would be to go back home to their family after their husbands had died. Naomi was insistent that they go back home. One of the daughters-in-law, Orpah, obeyed Naomi and went back home to her people, while Ruth, the other daughter-in-law, stayed with Naomi and didn’t go back to her people. Ruth’s home was Naomi.

19 So the two of them went on until they came to Bethlehem. And when they came to Bethlehem, the whole town was stirred because of them. And the women said, “Is this Naomi?” 20 She said to them, “Do not call me Naomi;[a] call me Mara,[b] for the Almighty has dealt very bitterly with me. 21 I went away full, and the Lord has brought me back empty. Why call me Naomi, when the Lord has testified against me and the Almighty has brought calamity upon me?” – Ruth 1:19-21

The name Naomi is translated as “pleasant,” but the name Mara is translated as “bitter.” Naomi used to be pleasant, but then life was unfair. A series of heart breaks left her bitter and empty. She felt that God had dealt with her bitterly through the times that were brought upon her. Can you relate to this? I know I can. She was full, but then life left her feeling empty. She was so bitter that she lost who she was. She was so miserable that she wanted to be isolated. She tried so hard to push Ruth and Oprah out of her life because when you’re bitter, you push away the blessings and gifts that God has given you. Bitterness is like a disease that tries to take every part of your life until it feels that it has taken away all of the good.

But that is not where Naomi’s story ended. Long story short, Ruth met a man named Boaz when she was working in the fields one day. This man found favor in Ruth and ended up marrying her. Ruth had a baby with Boaz, and Naomi found herself surrounded by family. At the end of the story, the bitterness that had once consumed Naomi seemed to have gone away. She was finally concentrated not on what she had lost but, instead, what she had gained. Ruth was the hope that Naomi had needed. I believe Ruth was God’s presence in Naomi’s life. She was a constant reminder that there was still good and good would always remain. Good was not leaving. God was not leaving.

Bitterness is a blinder to the good in our lives. In every situation, there is some sort of good. There are lessons to be learned. There are people to be met. There are good times to be had (if we allow them). So much of our lives is about perspective. We can either look at the cup half full or half empty. We can either look at the blessings right in front of our eyes or look all around that blessing and never recognize or appreciate it. A hard lesson I’ve learned in this season of life is that bitterness is a choice. I’ve chosen to let it be my lens. But now, I’ve decided I’m done seeing my life through the lens of bitterness. I hope you all do the same as well. There is no way we can enjoy this time we have on earth if all we concentrate on is the bad. There will always be something you can complain about, but don’t. Is that really how we want to spend our time here? Life is hard right now. I’m not going to sugarcoat it. We’ve suffered loss after loss. My goodness. It just doesn’t stop. We’re losing loved ones like Naomi did. We are suffering from depression. We are fighting sickness. We are battling differences of opinions. And we’re battling our own baggage. But let’s not be bitter. Let’s look right ahead at the Ruth in our lives, instead of focusing on everything else that seems unfair.

Life can be unfair. And it can really suck. But being bitter is only going to make life harder.

15 See to it that no one fails to obtain the grace of God; that no “root of bitterness” springs up and causes trouble, and by it many become defiled; – Hebrews 12:15

Is God in this story?

“Where is God in this story?” is a question religion majors here at OCU ask quite often. We are taught that this is one of the key exegetical questions to ask about a piece of Scripture. Why? Because it’s important to know the role of God in each story. It’s important to see how God is working in the midst of heartache, depression, conflict and persecution. It is also important to determine where God is when God doesn’t seem to be present in the book. For example, God is not mentioned one time in Esther, so where would God be?? Better yet, where is God in our story? Doesn’t it sometimes feel as if God isn’t present in our book? It seems that I am usually able to find God in a book of the Bible, but in my personal life… that’s another story. So where is God in my story? In our story?

These past two weeks have been crazy to say the least. This week we’ve been facing an insane election. Last week, here in Oklahoma, a powerful ice storm whipped through and took all of our electricity for days. There are people that are still out!! It was so sad to drive down the street to see so much destroyed. All of the trees still had leaves on them, so when the ice came, the trees were more weighed down and were destroyed. Not only that, but everything was dark. I would drive down the street at night with not a trace of light. Honestly, it kind of reminds me of this election week. There’s darkness encompassing us all with seemingly no trace of light. Everyone is angry and fighting. Every once in a while, I’ll see a post encouraging positivity, but even that makes people angry. People want to be mad and bitter right now, and they’re spreading the bitterness to the entire country. There is so much darkness. Where is God in it all?

I believe we are always subconsciously asking this question. When we’re going through hard times, we search for God whether we know it or not. God is in our inmost being, and though it may not seem like it sometimes, we NEED God. We cannot face life alone. God didn’t create this life for us to live it by ourselves. I mean think about it. Are we not always searching for meaning? We’re always wondering why bad things happen to us. We’re always curious to know where we’re supposed to go next. When we stand outside and see all of the beauty of nature, we’re intrigued with how something could be so perfect. We’re always searching for meaning. We’re always searching for God. God is the hope we’re searching for the bad times. God is in our future plans. God created nature and called it a masterpiece. We’re always searching for God whether we know it or not.

Even in this time, we’re looking for God. But if you’re anything like me, it’s been a hard search. The world just feels heavy. The great thing about the Bible is that biblical figures often related to us more than one may realize. Biblical figures were people too. Although they faced different struggles, they felt what we feel on a daily basis.

Paul is such an interesting person in the Bible. He was terrible when we first meet him. His name wasn’t even Paul. It was Saul. And Saul persecuted and killed early Christians for their beliefs in Jesus Christ. Early Christians avoided him because they knew he was a killer of Christians. But he changed. God changed him. Through an encounter with a man named Ananies, he converted to Christianity, the religion he persecuted. His name became Paul, and he became a devout follower of Christ, who went around spreading the good news. He went from the persecutor to being persecuted. Within Paul’s ministry, there were many times when he got in trouble by public officials for his proclamation of faith in Jesus Christ. In one of these instances, Paul was with a man named Silas. They got in trouble and were locked away in prison.

25 About midnight Paul and Silas were praying and singing hymns to God, and the prisoners were listening to them, 26 and suddenly there was a great earthquake, so that the foundations of the prison were shaken. And immediately all the doors were opened, and everyone’s bonds were unfastened. 27 When the jailer woke and saw that the prison doors were open, he drew his sword and was about to kill himself, supposing that the prisoners had escaped. 28 But Paul cried with a loud voice, “Do not harm yourself, for we are all here.” 29 And the jailer[e] called for lights and rushed in, and trembling with fear he fell down before Paul and Silas. 30 Then he brought them out and said, “Sirs, what must I do to be saved?” 31 And they said, “Believe in the Lord Jesus, and you will be saved, you and your household.” 32 And they spoke the word of the Lord to him and to all who were in his house. 33 And he took them the same hour of the night and washed their wounds; and he was baptized at once, he and all his family. 34 Then he brought them up into his house and set food before them. And he rejoiced along with his entire household that he had believed in God. – Acts 16:25-34

Rather than Paul and Silas, I want to focus on the jailer here. He was in a great darkness, so much so that he was about to kill himself. This man knew that he didn’t do his job successfully, and the authorities would kill him for it. He assumed it would be better to end his life himself. Darkness in our life leads us to do things that we otherwise would not. Sadly, sometimes it comes to ending it all for people, and I pray if you are at this point to please reach out to somebody and seek help. However, darkness can also cause us to be bitter, hostile and hateful. It can cause us to be people that we are not and do things we normally wouldn’t do. I believe this is exactly what is happening in our world right now. We are allowing the darkness to overtake us. The election, the in and out of quarantine, the deaths and the unexpecting nature of 2020 has caused turmoil within us. We are encompassed in darkness. So where is God in the story?

The story of the jailor didn’t end here. Paul and Silas stopped the jailor from ending his life. They gave him hope. They were God working in this story. They said, “Do not harm yourself, for we are all here”. Paul and Silas weren’t the only ones there, so was God. When all hope was gone, God was there. And God is not just in this story. God is in our story too. Just because it is hard to see doesn’t mean that God isn’t here. Sometimes the greatest works were carried out in silence. Sometimes the silence remains for a very long time. But that doesn’t mean we are alone. God doesn’t just work in the loud, light-filled place. God works also in the silent, dark spaces of our lives.

There are times God calls us to search. There are times when I’m studying the Bible in class and really struggle to find God. But I keep looking until I do. Start searching in your own life. Don’t expect your faith to always be easy because it’s not. You’re called to seek and not give up, even when you don’t seem to hear from God for a really long time.

At the small group I help lead, one of the students mentioned how it was sad that all the trees were destroyed because of the ice storm. One of the other leaders came back and said, “But isn’t there something beautiful in them even though they’re broken?” Where is God? God is in the destruction and the heartache. God is in this election, no matter the turnout. God doesn’t leave, just because things don’t go the way we want. We can’t expect everything to be perfect. We can’t always expect everything to work out because the world is made up of humans. But that doesn’t mean that God is gone. God is still present and working, in the midst of the heartache.

Let’s start searching a little more and remember that God most definitely is in this story.

“Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you.” – Matthew 7:7

Living Life Beyond the Screen

This week has been really busy. Usually on a week like this I’d feel miserable, but I haven’t. I have found myself living more in the present than I have in a very long time. And there is one big reason I think this is. Social media. This week I made it a goal to not get on my social platforms hardly at all. Not to be dramatic, but it changed the whole trajectory of my week. I was able to focus more on all of the homework I had. I even found myself spending more time with people, even though I was slammed. It is crazy how much one component of our lives can change literally everything. Yes, social media has its’ perks. But yes, it can also be one of the leading causes to depression, sadness and anxiety.

Social media is great for sharing fun memories. It’s also great for connecting with people that live far away. However, I feel like we use these reasonings to justify being on some sort of social platform for HOURS. It’s great to connect with others through your social media (that’s what it is made for), but that doesn’t necessarily mean we should spend all day looking at a screen. We miss so many good parts of life by doing that. And that’s what I realized this week. You all would be shocked by how many times I picked up my phone to get on Instagram, only to stop myself five seconds later. It has become such a big part of my life that it’s a struggle to let it go.

Last week was pretty rough. I didn’t necessarily know why, but I almost felt depressed. It took me talking to my mom to put the dots together that it most likely was stemming from social media. I was tired of seeing the negativity. I was even more tired of seeing people having fun ALL THE TIME. I was quarantined last week, and all I could think about the entire time was how college has never been what I expected it to be. I thought it’d include hanging out with friends all of the time and making fun memories every night. And social media told me that is what college is for a lot of people. Clearly, social media can lead to comparison. Every person is posting every little good part about their life. After a while, it can make us wonder why these people have such a seemingly perfect life, and we just seem to be on the struggle bus. You might feel lonely, and all you see on your Instagram is all of these people having a great time with their close friend group. You may feel as if you are not beautiful compared to all of the people you see as you’re scrolling. You may be tired of seeing people who have hurt you post and act like someone they are not for the rest of the world. And you may not even realize that social media is tearing you apart like it might be.

Social media acts as a sort of addiction. Our mind enjoys being occupied with other peoples’ lives, and these different social platforms are always finding new ways to keep us hooked. They do such a great job that it’s really hard to put the phone down sometimes. And I think this affects us in three major ways.

First of all, our time is completely consumed with social media. We stop engaging in real life and instead, we engage with an unrealistic world. This week I truly had so much more time for my relationships than I have had in a while. I was actually getting work done, and finding ways to take time for myself. My attention was finally on the present moment and not the media. I also found myself being more positive. Currently, the media is full of an insane amount of negativity. It is unhealthy for us to consume all of our time focusing on the conflicts occurring in our world. It’s important to be aware, but it’s not important for us to wrapped up in it all constantly. We have one life to live, and we were meant to enjoy it. Focusing on the media and what is going on in our world 24/7 is not going to allow you to live in the present or possibly even be happy.

Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things. – Philippians 4:8

Do you believe social media is true, honorable, just, pure, lovely, commendable and worthy of praise? Just something to think about.

Secondly, our internal being is impacted by social media. As I was saying earlier, we sometimes feel lonely, sad and consumed in our imperfections because of social media. Since social media has come around, anxiety and other mental health issues have gone up. It literally sometimes feels like it has come into our lives in order to steal all of our joy. This is because we allow it to. We need to know our limits. If you find that you’ve been comparing yourself constantly to other people, it is probably time to take a break. You need to take that initiative to limit yourself for as long as you need. No one else can do this for you. You’re worth is priceless, and if social media is telling you otherwise, it’s time to get off. My worth was being impacted which is why I decided it was time to put some limits on my screen time, and it has helped more than I could’ve ever imagined.

Lastly, our self-control has seemingly gotten worse because of social media. I have a feeling I’m the not the only one who can’t get enough of it at times. I will sit down and scroll for hours. I know I should stop, but it really is so hard sometimes. Often times, our relationship with social media is toxic. Social media is always wanting your attention and takes away from your good relationships in life. You could be making memories of your own but instead you can’t quit looking at other peoples’ memories.

for God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control. – 2 Timothy 1:7

God gave us a spirit of self-control, so it’s time to start using it. There are some things that are not bad in moderation. Social media really isn’t terrible, but it needs to be used in moderation. Our whole life should not be centered around something that isn’t real or true. People often portray an image of themselves that isn’t who they are at all. People probably think I do. I will admit that I usually always share the good parts of myself, but let me be honest right now. Those little memories I share are not who I am. I am made up of those good things and also so many imperfections. What you all do not see is the tears I have cried, the insecurities I have faced and the moments I have been at my lowest. You aren’t alone. We don’t share these parts of ourselves. And that’s not a bad thing. In saying this though, it’s important for us to realize that people don’t live perfect lives. Everyone has struggles of their own.

Is social media taking over your life? Really think about that question. You may not like the answer, but you need to be honest with yourself.

Not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near. – Hebrews 10:25

Let’s not forget about the value of relationships beyond the screen.

Drop the Stigma

We don’t like to talk about it, but many people are dealing with it. Sadly, there’s a stigma paired with it, and although I wish the stigma didn’t exist, it does. The stigma of mental health. Now more than ever, I hear of people struggling with mental health. I firmly believe the reason for this is the pandemic. We are in and out of quarantine. People are having to be self-isolated. We have to constantly keep our distance from those we love. The politics are tearing people apart. And on top of all this, we are trying to keep up with school, work and life. We have so much on our plate. I know many people who are depressed. All of this is leaving them with no hope. I know people who are struggling with anxiety. Their to-do-list and all that is going on in the world leaves them anxious and overwhelmed. Life is weird and really hard right now. No wonder we’re struggling.

I wanted to write a blog over mental health because today is World Mental Health Awareness Day which is SO VERY important!!!! Mental health is an obstacle that so many of us face. I have faced mental health struggles on numerous occasions in my life. And I want to share one of my experiences so that you know wherever you are, you are not alone.

I’ve always been an anxious person. When I was only ten years old, I struggled to fall asleep at night. My mind was always racing and wouldn’t let me catch a break. When it got to the point where it was affecting the amount of sleep I received every night, my parents then decided it was time to try to find something that would help me. I went and had a sleep study done. There was nothing wrong. I went to the doctor. There was nothing wrong. Finally, they decided it might help if I went to counseling. And it did. I talked through my struggles, and that counselor helped me navigate a solution. Just talking to someone gave me the help I needed to eventually help me to slow my mind down and fall asleep at night. Overtime, my sleep was fine, and I quit going to the counselor. But as I began to grow up, I came face to face with another issue. Stress. Stress impacted my life in such a way, that the anxiety just came rushing back in. It’s as if it took over my life. The overwhelming feeling of anxiety was present in my life 24/7. The question of what if? never let me catch a breath. This consumed me all the way from junior high, through high school and even sometimes into my today. However, now I finally know the importance of getting help. For the longest time, I refused it. I told myself I was stronger than a little stress. But it wasn’t a little stress. It was a little stress that had welcomed in the monster named “anxiety”.. And I couldn’t face it on my own.

Mental health issues didn’t start with you and I. They actually date all the way back to biblical times. Take David for instance. He wrote the Psalms, and through these verses, we can see that David was suffering from a deep sadness.

Save me, O God,
    for the waters have come up to my neck.
I sink in deep mire,
    where there is no foothold;
I have come into deep waters,
    and the flood sweeps over me.
I am weary with my crying;
    my throat is parched.
My eyes grow dim
    with waiting for my God. – Psalm 69:1-3

These verses reflect the dark place that David was in. He was depressed and had lost all hope in life. But something that stands out about David. He knew he couldn’t face this pain alone, and he was crying out for help from the Lord.

But for some reason, there is a stigma for getting help. People think it is a sign of weakness. But I’m here to tell you what you’ve heard a thousand times. Getting help IS NOT a sign of weakness. It’s a sign of STRENGTH. I cannot stress this enough!! Hopefully, if you haven’t listened to the hundreds of other people that have told you this same thing before, you’ll listen to me. I know this from experience. It took me all the way up to my Freshman year of college to finally realize that I couldn’t face this monster all on my own. I decided to take advantage of the free counseling we have at my school. When signing up, I felt like I was giving into weakness, but after a few counseling sessions, I felt strength. I was proud of myself for finally admitting that I couldn’t do it all on my own. I wasn’t weak. I realized it took courage for me to take that step, and I did it. If you need help, take the next step. If you’re anything like me, you’ve probably told yourself that you’re making up your problems. First of all, you’re not. Second of all, you don’t even need a reason to go get help. Just having someone to talk to about life helps to relieve the pressure life puts on us.

After you finally decide to get help, one of the first things a counselor will usually tell you is that you need to take some time for yourself. I struggle with this. Ughhhh it’s hard. It’s easy to tell myself that everything else in life should come before me. I mean let’s take school for example. School is very important, but I’m going to be brutally honest. School is not everything. It is a blessing, and we should give it our best. But there are other aspects of life that are much more important. It has taken me a long time to realize that, but I’m so glad I have. We can’t keep allowing school to wreck our mental health. We need to work our hardest, but also realize that sometimes we need to ask for the extension on that really hard paper. Sometimes we just need to go to bed, instead of editing that assignment five more times. You’re probably not going to end up changing much anyways. Just turn it in, and get the sleep that your body needs. And quit stressing about how you’re going to get it all done. Everything always ends up working out. If you get a bad grade, shake it off. I promise it’s not going to matter a year later. When you mentally begin to let go of worries like this, eventually it becomes easier to take more time for yourself.

Go for a walk. Take a weekend (socially distant) trip with your friends. Go for a drive and sing at the top of your lungs. Take time to have fun. This helps boost our mental health. It reminds us that there is so much good to life. We don’t need to spend all of our time in life forgetting that we only have one life to live. If we do that, then we might just forget to enjoy it.

But don’t take just my advice on how to improve your mental health. Find what helps you to feel happy and better about life. I’m still learning. I’m at the point in my college career that life is just insane for me, and my mental health often suffers because of it. But I want to make it a goal to not get back to the point I was at in high school. I want to ask for help and find ways to enjoy life because I know these things improve my mental health. Do the same for yourself. Do a favor for the God who created you, and seek help, enjoy life, and find ways to care for yourself. God loves you immensely and wants that for you.

“Throw all your anxiety onto God, because God cares about you.” – 1 Peter 5:7

Learning to Live with God-Confidence

“You don’t look good.” Why did you mess that up?” “You always ruin everything.” “You’re not good enough.” These are just a few thoughts that I think have gone through many of our heads. Sometimes we beat ourselves up, until it feels like there’s nothing left. Low confidence comes to steal our joy and leaves us broken inside. When we don’t believe we are good enough, darkness creeps into our lives. There are many reasons we get to this place. One of the main reasons is through the people by which we are surrounded. Sadly, a hard reality of life is that not everyone wants us to succeed. Sometimes a way for people to deal with their own baggage is by bringing others down. And that someone they’re bringing down could very well be you right now.

Low confidence has been one of the biggest struggles I have ever faced in my life. I go through seasons where my self-esteem is great and then others where it seems nonexistent. When I’m facing a time of low confidence, I’ve realized that many MANY aspects of my life tend to get a whole lot harder. In these times, I question everything I do, rather than just enjoying the life and opportunities that I’ve been given. Maybe you’re in a place similar to this. Maybe you can’t quit looking in the mirror, searching for all of your imperfections. Maybe you have a gift that you’re scared to share because your confidence has been shattered. We all have these times. Some of us may face these times more than others. No matter how many times you’ve come face-to-face with low confidence, it’s hard.

At the end of my sophomore year of high school, I started something new. Singing. And I loved it. It was something I had always wanted to do. In fact, anytime my parents would leave the house I would belt out some Adele or Taylor Swift. I didn’t think of it as anything I would ever pursue because I didn’t think I was any good at it. But I sure did enjoy it. At the end of my sophomore year, I was feeling vulnerable and told my parents I wanted to take vocal lessons. They were surprised but more than willing to sign me up. They were even more surprised to hear that I could sing. Stepping into this unknown territory for me was hard. There were some days I didn’t know why I was doing it because I had a total of zero confidence in myself. Eventually, I started leading worship, and I still struggled. I knew my focus should be on God, but instead, it was on my voice. It was on every little teeny, tiny mistake. I would think about that one mistake for days. My parents saw many tears around this time. I was discouraged. I wanted to lead people in worship, but I was scared and unconfident.

Over time, I overcame this struggle, and I began to sing every note for God, good or bad. But that’s not to say that there hasn’t been a few roadblocks along the way. I’ve faced times since then where I go back to the same broken place I was in before. I’ve let people’s opinions get to me and allowed low confidence in other parts of my life to trickle into my singing. We are going to have setbacks throughout our lives. It happens. But if there is anything I have learned from these setbacks, it’s these three things:

  1. God-confidence is key

A lot of you are probably thinking… what is she talking about???? Well let me explain. I was in a small group a couple of years ago where we learned about this idea of “God-confidence”. What we learned is that this is a confidence that points upward. When we have vertical faith (setting our sights on the God above), we are able to focus on the One who is above all the insecurities. We’ve been talking about this idea of “vertical faith” a lot at church lately. The opposite of vertical faith is horizontal faith. “Horizontal faith” is placing all of our trust and identity on the things of this world. Well of course we aren’t going to be confident with horizontal faith!!! The world just tears us apart. The world is made up of so many imperfections and so much hurt. So instead we should have vertical faith… this gives us a confidence that is centered in our relationship with God. A good, true relationship with God can overcome all that this world throws at us. When we find our identity in Christ, we are able to realize that we are chosen, loved, gifted, and equipped for what the world throws at us. So, let’s remember that God-confidence is key

2. You are you, so don’t try to be someone else.

There are way too many times in my life that I’ve looked at someone and just wanted to be them. Comparison is the thief of joy. It makes us forget what is special and unique about ourselves. If God created us all to be the same, life would be boring. If we all didn’t have the parts of us that are unique, life would not be the way it is meant to be. God wants us to bring our own gifts and characteristics to the world. God intended this so that we can further the Kingdom of God. We need to be confident in who God made us to be because God made you for a purpose. Even if you feel that you don’t have anything to offer, you do. We need to embrace who we are. Way too often, we compare our imperfections to others. What we need to realize is that nobody is perfect. It is likely that the same person you compare yourself to, sees characteristics in you that he/she wishes to have. Quit belittling yourself. God made YOU with a purpose, just as God also made the person to which you compare yourself.

3. Don’t let the opinions of others make you lose sight of who you are!!!!!!

I have let this happen all too often in my life. There have been people that I have allowed to break me down. When I’m around them, I forget I have a purpose. I forget about the gifts that God has given me. My advice is to stop caring. This might sound insincere, but it is essential that we stop letting others define us. If we are constantly letting people’s negative opinions get into our heads, we are going to lose sight of the gifts that God has given us. There is a fine line between constructive criticism and belittling. Constructive criticism comes out of love. Belittling is the desire to make someone think less of themselves, which is usually because the person doing the belittling doesn’t feel good about themselves. Sadly, bringing others down can make people feel better about who they are. Try to lock out the negative opinions. It’ll make you more likely to believe in yourself and love yourself.

All of this is probably nothing new to you all, but for some reason we still struggle. I’m giving you all this advice knowing full well that low confidence is still a daily setback for me. It’s almost as if there is a tug-of-war going on in our lives. The things of this world are pulling us into a negative view of ourselves while God is pulling the other way, trying to get us to realize our value. But instead of just being a flag in the middle that goes to whoever pulls harder, we have a choice. We can either let the tug of the world reel us into a pit, or we can go to the God who loves us more than we could ever imagine. I choose God; however, I know that sometimes the tug of the world can be very strong. Some days, it will feel as if the world has won, but it hasn’t. God has overcome the world.

I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world.” – John 16:33